Amish Dating: Former Amish Lovina Hershberger Explains Unusual Courtship Rules

Former Amish social media creator Lovina Hershberger Zook has offered a glimpse into the unusual dating practices she experienced while growing up in an Amish community.

Hershberger, 23, grew up in one of the more conservative Amish subgroups and spoke Pennsylvania Dutch, a German dialect used among some Amish communities, according to CBS News.

Speaking to CBS News on August 16, 2026, she revealed that she left the Amish faith five years ago, had never used a cellphone or computer, and had never driven a car.

Her journey since leaving the community has taken her into the world of social media, where she has built an audience of about 6 million followers across TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and X by August 2026.

Her online content focuses heavily on Amish food, traditions, and her experiences growing up in the community. One of her most-watched videos, explaining how Amish women do their hair, had surpassed 50 million views on TikTok.

Hershberger is also a former Amish schoolteacher. She finished eighth grade and went on to teach in an Amish school, earning $12 a day, before her father told her she would need to change careers because teaching did not pay enough.

 What are the rules of Amish dating?

During the interview, Hershberger explained that Amish dating could involve couples meeting privately at night, with visits following a strict routine.

According to Hershberger, a young man could visit the woman he was dating at her home at around 9 p.m. 

“The boyfriend comes to the girlfriend’s house; the door stays unlocked so you can just walk in. He comes to her house, up to her bed and stays in her bed until 4:00 in the morning, and then he goes home,” she stated.

Hershberger said sex was not permitted because Amish couples were expected to wait until marriage. 

“In bed you talk and sleep; you cannot have sex because that’s not allowed until you are married. I think you can kiss; I never did, but I think you can,” she added.

Amish dating happened at night

One distinctive aspect of the dating practice she described was that couples were not supposed to be seen together during the day.

Hershberger said the couple could meet only at night and that dating was limited to about once a week.

She also explained that a young man would have to ask whether the woman wanted him to return for  

“After the first night, the guy has to be like, So you want me to come back in two weeks, or do you want me to take you home after church or after the singing next Sunday evening?’ ” And if you want to you say yes; if you don’t want to, you say no,” she said.

Why Lovina left the Amish

Hershberger told CBS that growing frustration with the many rules governing her life eventually prompted her to plan her departure.

She recalled an incident involving criticism of her church dress as a turning point. She said she began planning to leave and spent two weeks preparing before leaving the family home while everyone was asleep.

CBS reported that she later stayed with her brother and other relatives as she adjusted to life outside the Amish community.

Five years after leaving, Hershberger had learned to drive and built a career creating social media content. She also published Lovina’s Amish Cookbook, featuring more than 230 recipes.

Although she left the Amish faith, Hershberger told CBS that she still maintains some Amish traditions, including making her own clothing and cooking traditional dishes.

She is married to Eli, an ex-Amish man, and the couple were expecting their first baby in September 2026.